Sunday, July 12, 2009


lately I've been feeling really empty, and really, really lonely. I know it sounds cheesy to say it, but its true. I think its the fact that I haven't been with a decent guy since, I can't even remember, sure, I've been with plenty of guys recently, just none of them were decent, 2 out of 3 asked for nude pics before we even went on a date, and the other one, my ex-boyfriend, got what he wanted, didn't quite give me what I wanted, and then asked out his other ex. whatever.

I haven't totally lost hope yet though, I've been seeing some really cute guys around, I mean REALLY extraordinarily adorable. like just the other day, me and emsie were at borders, looking for cd's, and we see this adorable guy wearing a graphic tee under a button down shirt, black hair, blue green eyes (beautiful, blue green eyes) and he's super tan. he's one of those lanky kids, the ones that look really good in guys clothing because they have a somewhat womanly figure. you know exactly what I'm talking about. don't even try to disguise it. there was another guy in urban (of course, there always is) and he was even cutier than the cd collection kid. he had a button down too, corduroys, and 3D glasses. yeah, need I say more?

places to find guys:

1. bookstores, if the bookstore has a CD section, go there first, if not, hit up the cafe, theres almost always some adorably shy sensitive guy sipping away at his chai gobi blossom tea, uploading some handmade prints on etsy. even the guy who works at the cafe! trust me, I know from experience, those cafe boys can be extremely witty and friendly. just don't hit up the cafe part if it happens to be a starbucks. starbucks is for assholes. and I don't think you want to be dating another asshole, do you?

2. music store! if theres an indie section, RUN to it! thats where the cute guys are! and I know that everyone thinks that indie guys are stuck up and think they're just the bees-knees, well 1) THEY ARE. DUH. and 2) you can pretty much tell right off the bat if they're assholes, especially in a music store, heres how to check, if he starts blabbing about how he only listin to indie music because its the only kind of music thats worth listening to besides his, LEAVE. because first of all, indie really isn't even a genre, I mean, you could have a classical orchastra be an indie group, and then you could have an indie hip hop group. indie stands for independent, not "slow bass with quick thumpy electric guitar mixed in with some synth and squeaky shitty-on-purpose vocals" OKAY!??

3.the pool. if I have to explain this to you, your seriously fucked up in the membrane, okay? lifegaurd + creepy boys harrasing you + lifegaurd kicks harrasing boys out = he's so in there, and by "there" I mean, YOU.

love you.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

remember apple boy? jason/jeared whatever the fuck his name was? yeah. well guess what... he wanted nude pics.
agh! why does every adorably gorgeous guy I meet want pictures? is that like "in" now?
because if it is, I think I'll just be a nerd.

list of things I would never do for a guy:
1. send nude pics, he wants to see me naked? fine, lets date for a couple of months and have sex, then you can see me naked. or get me drunk, but good luck with that, because I don't drink (don't wanna end up like my daddy)

2. take it up the butt. nasty. and OUCH. like. OWWW. that would freaking hurt! girls have seperate holes for seperate things. okay? yeah. okay.

3. blow job... I don't really wanna stick a dudes penis in my mouth. that DOES NOT sound like fun for me. you know what? I'm a lady, I don't need to be gettin' on mah knees and doing that for you. you should be doing that for ME. because I'm a motherfucking lady! thats right! its my needs before yours! so shut the hell up and get down there! lol. sorry.

4. phone sex? yeah, what the hell? thats just weird. or when u text them dirty stuff like "I'm sitting in my room naked, thinking about you" I'm SERIOUS. my gay friend, Austin, got a text like that and he was like "what the hell?" like if you wanna look creepy or funny, sure, leave a text like that, but don't expect the same thing from me. I'M A LADY. bitch.

5. pee? thats the grossiest, nastiest, most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. WHO THE HELL?I think if a guy wanted to do that, I would never talk to him again. thats nasty. only whores do that shit. ew.

sorry for all the cussing. :)

so anyways, on the 4th, I went to a blues traveler concert, they had like 3 opening acts and all of them fucking rocked, 2 comedians, the first one was okay, but guess who the second comedian was? LEWIS MOTHER FUCKING BLACK!!!! he was funny as hell! I love him. great times, and the opening band was black joe lewis and the honey bears, and let me tell you, those guys are fucking HOT. they're music is great to dance to! and the drummer and guitarist are fucking insanely sexy! agh! I just about died. and my mom met the guitarist's mom in the bathroom! yeah. look 'em up. because they kicked ass. and as for blues traveler? they were aight, just not my type. well.. I dunno. they get boring after a while. but it was fun!

and tonight I'm going back to red rocks to see Jaws, yes, thats right, I'm gonna see that scary freaking shark movie at red rocks. and hopefully emily will turn on her fucking phone and text me back and say that she can fucking go!!!!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

let's MAC-out

ooh lala! se magnifique!
today was the paris street market at aspen grove, where they sell adorable vintage furniture and clothing and things. I quickly browsed the market, but didn't find anything I needed, so I walked into the apple store to browse around, as soon as I walk in, I catch the eye of this totally gorg guy who looks about 17. he smiles to me and says "hey there! anything I can help you with?" I smile back, forgetting I still have fucking braces, and say "oh, nah, I'm just browsing, well actually, I was looking for maybe a cover for my ipod? where would that be?" and HE just being SO adorable and SO GORGEOUS smiles AGAIN and leads me to this enormous wall of stuff for your ipod. I pretend to look for something and occasionally look back to see where he is. he's helping some old lady. damn. I wait a bit and decide theres no way I'll talk to him again. I start to walk out and BAM. he's there. he smiles (yet again...) and is like "oh! hey, are you leaving?" I'm like, "yeah, didn't find the color I was looking for, thanks for helping though) and hes all "oh, well I was kinda wondering if I could possibly get your number?" and inside I did a dance. I said "sure" and wrote my cell number on an apple card and gave it to him. he says thanks and I leave.

I stopped in gap (don't laugh) because I needed.... I don't even really know. but I went in there and found myself in the underwear section and suddenly realized oh shit, I don't own a thong! its true. I myself could not believe it. I grabbed some ordinary beige and white and blue ones. size medium, AND small, if you must know. and tried them on. and you probably already know this but, bringing five pairs of JUST underwear into the changing room is pretty fucking emmbarrasing. like "oh hello, I have just five items OF THONGS" yeah. exactly. whatever, I try them on, thinking they'ed prolly fit like a charm and I'd look super sexy in them. and WHATTHEFUCK. they look huge. and they crawl up your back. like I think if i stretched the 'leg holes' (i have no idea what to call those) and stuck my arms through them. they'd fit normally. like REALLY. so I went back and looked for a smaller size. I found one x-small thong (light blue and white strips. if you must know) and a couple of really soft boyshorts, and decided to check out. but ONCE AGAIN, buying JUST underwear is really embarrasing, so I found a six dollar tank and paid for my shit and headed toward the car. WHEN I remembered I forgot my jacket in the apple store. great.
I walk into the apple store, see the guy that wanted my number, and make my way to my jacket. he comes up to me and is like "ha, you just can't resist me, can you?" I say (being all witty and charming) "don't flatter yourself, I only came back for my jacket" he laughes and points at my gap bag "whatcha buy?" and before I can answer, he opens the fucking gap bag and takes a good look at mah thongs. awesome. he cracks up and says "oh! ahaha, sorry. I didn't know-" I'm like "AHAHAA, ITS FINE...." and wave goodbye and go home.......

and thats my day so far.


Today we celebrate Will Smith and his daring rescue of earth. Thank you Mr. Smith for being the man and owning those aliens.

I stole that last bit from my friend, Joe.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

first off. today alone was enough crazy-ness to last me a whole year.

so earlier this week I had a complete melt down about where I am in my life and how deep in this hole I am and if I can ever get out. so of course, naturally, I sobbed, screamed into my pillow, freaked out, had a panic attack, rushed into the bathroom, grabbed a toothbrush, shoved it down my throat, didn't throw up, went back to my room, cried, told emily what was going on, had suicidal thoughts, threw up, went on the computer, took about twenty useless quizzes, got off, cried, thought about killing myself, decided not to, and went to sleep.

the next morning I felt a million times better and went to work. borring borring borring (fast forward to today) today at the office there was a super hot guy there and lisa was like "do you need to make another appointment?" he says "nah, I'm, good" and he starts to leave. Lisa looks at me and says "ohmygod, he is soooooo hot!" he turns around and winks at her. Lisa pulls up his file and whatsthis!? he has TWO STD'S!? yep. turns out he does. after lunch the phones ring like crazy. I mean CRAZY. every line is on hold and its madness. I was supposed to clock out that 2:30pm, but they were so busy I had to keep working till 3pm. I come home, check my e-mail, because when I went camping this boat full of drunk 20 year old guys asked us to take some pictures of them and send it to them. so I did. and I was sort of expecting a reply. what do I get?
this e-mail:
YARRRRGH back. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THOSE! we all got a laugh out of them & they came out great, good memory with my e-mail also. We will be there all day on the 4th of July if you want a free lunch on us. thanks again lol - Trevor

he fucking asked out me and emily on a fucking date. EW. WEIRD. how old does he think we are!? what the hell!? lol. crazyness. and tonight I'm most likely gonna sleep over at emily's place and have a lot of fucking fun.

sorry. that was a lame ass post...