Friday, June 19, 2009

better and believer.

soon I'll be finished completely with summer school, next week is our last (thank jesus) and I'll never have to see that skanky clothes and makeup, bitchy, unfair, slow, western, republican ms. Johnson ever again. praise the lord! by the way, I don't believe in god or jesus or whatever. I don't really believe in anything. which is sad, because everyone needs to believe in SOMETHING. or they don't have a lot to hold on to when times get tough. this isn't what I was planning on posting, but I think I'll do it any ways. things you should believe in:

1. vegetarians. they are real. and most of them DO believe that what they are doing is right. and making fun of them and/or taunting them with steak is just mean. my dad does it all the time to me, and my sister. its hard. and no, we don't think wer're better than you just because we don't eat meat. that's just really uncultured and ignorant of you to think that. however, there are some people who don't eat meat beacuse they want to be heathier, I'm for that as well, the first time I went veg, it was because I was uncomfortable in my own skin and I had heard somewhere that being a vegetarian was great for your skin, (which it totally was) . but just make sure your still eating SOMETHING. eggs, tofu (mm-mmm), sushi. something. otherwise you'll totally die from lack of protien or something. or maybe you'll just snap and go ape-shit and become a hunter and go and dress up in camo (don't ever dress up in camo, thats a sure-fire red-neck alerter. even if your trying to dress all bronx and ghetto and shit. its ugly and acting ghetto is overrated) just be nice to vegetarians. kay?

2. believe in good-natured boys. they try so hard. you know they do. and hopeless romantics. they're trying. they just need a little time.

3. monsters. they do exsist. and I'll tell you where they roam, just so your informed. they ARE in fact, in your closet, your bathtub (but only if you leave the bathwater in there, so always unplug the drain, but plug it up afterwards, because there's still a chance they could try to crawl through.) and they sometimes are in empty hallways, they hide behind curtains and framed pictures and shadows. beware.

4. yourself! you have no idea how important it is to believe in yourself. its very important. its like all that shit they tell you in k-12! its true! hard work DOES pay off!

5. ice cream. the power of ice cream is incredible. everyones number one comfort food, try it! all the newly single girls who justgotoutofarelationshipandarelookingforaonenightstand are doin it! and you should too! just make sure you work out afterwards, fatties.

oh my god. I just had a great realization. I think maybe one of the biggest reasons why we have so many fat girls in america is because they were once skinny (no shit....) and they had boyfriends who were assholes and broke up with these pretty skinny girls, unaware of what they may have just created. and then the skinny girls eat so much comfort food they get fat! ohmygod we can totally blame all of our problems on boys! how great is that!?

sorry. I need to shutup. bye. love you
im so going to the gym after this. and WALKING there. thankyouverymuch.


  1. My dear,
    you are a genius.

    I totally agree with the vegetarian thing! like seriously, my brother has been suchhh a freakin dick about it. so on Father's Day, john grilled burgers, so I cooked myself eggs. and cj sat there like eating his burger like mmmmm emily this is sooooo goood you should have one! and I was sitting there eating my eggs like. fuck. you.
    no joke.
    haha okay I'm done. :)

  2. haha! my dad is the same way! and he's bitchin about how girls just become vegetarians because they don't know how to cook. lame.

  3. Ha! Yes! I just stumbled across your blog and adore this.
    The vegetarianism rant = spot on. I was taunted with a beef skewer just last night and seriously considered vomiting in said dude's lap just to make a point.
    ...I'm classier than that though, so I didn't do it. God, being somewhat classy has it's drawbacks sometimes.

  4. none of you mongoloids has a shred of class.